


The Journal - Red Dead Redemption 2 - mini series pt 7

by TheCrownless2



Series: Sons of Dutch - Red Dead Redemption 2 - Mini series [7]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Arthur can't stop thinking about Micah, Arthur is in love, Arthur writes about his feelings, Bottom Arthur Morgan, Confessions, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Hurt Arthur Morgan, Journal, M/M, Micah Bell - Freeform, Outlaws, RDR2, Short, soft, spacer for plot development
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrownless2/pseuds/TheCrownless2
Summary: Arthur writes about his feelings.
Relationships: Micah Bell/Arthur Morgan
Series: Sons of Dutch - Red Dead Redemption 2 - Mini series [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768477
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	The Journal - Red Dead Redemption 2 - mini series pt 7

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a quick spacer and brief summary for the plots to come ^^

———

It was a quiet night, Arthur sat on his bed as he wrote in his journal, the camp had all gone to sleep as the starry skies lit the night.

....

_It's been a while since I wrote in this... mostly because there ain't nothing much to write since the thing with Micah in Saint Denis a month back.. Well now I'm dusting this old thing off because I have somethin' to say and I ain't got anyone to say it to._

_Five days ago I was shot up in Annesburg whilst robbing a wagon with Dutch, Micah's idea .. no surprise.._

_I don't remember much, Dutch said I was out for a day. After I got shot he said Micah lost his head as usual and gunned down the whole path. I asked, though Dutch didn't tell me if innocents were involved._

_We got the money. Says Dutch. We had faith even when things became dire, Micah and I had faith and we got the money... I shook my head. Pair of fools they are..._

_But this ain't what I opened my journal for, god I hope Dutch don't read this, or Grimshaw or anyone for that matter because things get complicated from here..._

_I don't remember much of what happened after I got shot, even before that really._

_This may seem unbelievable, especially now that I'm writing this but.. I can't stop thinkin' 'bout it. But, I need to get it off my chest._

_Briefly I remember this ~~feeling.~~ Memory? I don't know what to call it, before I fell I had this hallucination, it seemed like a dream... I was locked in a tight embrace, it felt comforting yet uncertain.. Rough lips on mine, as I opened my eyes I saw bright blue eyes staring back at me. Blonde hair blowing lightly against my neck._

_I was kissing Micah, now I know people tend to hallucinate before death or what not, the brain goes wonky but I felt his touch, his lips, his breathing against my chest. I can't help but wonder if this was real or a mad man's hallucination. It felt real._

_I tried, I tried to remember but I just can't.. All I know, since Annesburg I felt the tension between Micah and I, I can't tell if this is just in my head or perhaps Micah feels it too? I can't go ask 'em. If it was a dream he would really think I have gone mad, and that'll only confess how I...how I.. Christ I'm even hesitant to write this out on paper.. what's wrong with me..._

_It confuses me because... because it hasn't slipped my attention, Y'know. The lingering stares, the subtle yet seductive grins, the gentle 'heys' as a passing by. I feel he watches me, to mock me? Intimidate me? Or does he care? ..._

_It's fucked up cause I care, is it wrong that I return those stare, grins, subtle passing by with more than just a soft 'hey' as we walk past each other? My gaze lingers. Oh god I think I'm fallin' for him._

_Lately when everyone's asleep, Micah would hang out by himself at the fire. Sharpening his knife or smoking his cigar. I would often go up to him and sit with the man in the hopes to ease his loneliness, he seems sad, his eyes seem troubled. We don't talk much, just sit there, quietly. Its nice, he doesn't say but I think we both like it, considering our mixed intentions?.._

_After dinner's done and the gang settles, For pure entertainment or amusement, least Micah gets a rouse out of it. We often play Five Finger Fillet, a fun game we outlaws often enjoy playing, don't know why, suppose it quenches our thirst for danger 'n' violence? Micah enjoys playing with me and I with him. We have fun. Sure makes time go by quicker and I'm closer to him, staring at him from across the table, those eyes looking back at me, it ain't like me to say but, it brings me comfort... Having him near._

_I don't even know when this started, I tried to ignore it but I suppose something was always there? It should've become apparent when I pushed so hard to have Micah rescued in Saint Denis. I dunno how he feels for me. don't trust him, he gets on my nerves I ain't gonna lie. But there's somethin' about him.. something about him that leaves me curious and wanting more._

_Perhaps Hosea is right, my foolish curiosity will be my downfall.._

_I still haven't confronted Micah about the kiss.. I don't know how. None of this answers my question, was it real? Accusations are dangerous..._

\-----

**Keep and eye out for part 8 ;)**


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